Gratitude not attitude
I’ve been keeping a ‘gratitude, not attitude’ diary for a week now. The reason? It was pointed out to me I look like I’ve got an ‘attitude’; I’m a bitch; I’m nasty; I go over the top; I’m a diva. I’m used to negative words like this because it’s all the things I say to myself when I’m so down that I can’t get out of bed.
I would like to try and change that misconception if I could because I know I can be selsifh, petulant, outrageous, loud, have tantrums like a three year old.
But at the same time, I realise, I can’t change peoples’ misconceptions. I have many layers, like an onion. And like an onion, you might like me in certain situations but not others… Raw, sauteeed, stir fried…. Caramlised, chopped, sliced, diced… Baby, Shallot.
If you want to be my friend, I may cause tears, mine or yours. Beers, not tears, was the plan over the weekend but like all good plans, it didn’t go according to plan. But I am grateful for what I learnt. I leart some friends are wise enough to say and do the right thing at the right time.
I learnt other friends are fickle and have summed up my situation and decided to focus on their own path because they dont’t understand. That’s fine too. And I also learnt you can go to bed crying but wake up to a message that makes you smile. You’d think I’d know that by now…
Life is a lesson, there’s no exam, but if there was, it would be a yes/no exercise.
My gratitude/not attitue exercise goes thus… Does this situation I’ve created benefit me in any way? yes/no. Does it hurt any other person than me? yes/no. Does it help me achieve my goals? yes/no. Am I going to be a better person for doing this? yes/no.
It sounds so simple …. but like bathimg, positivity is something you must do daily to live a positive life. Kat, Linda, Kibble, Juicy, Helwitch, Tinks, Stalks, Pauly, Boss, Dodger, FFF, Peachy, Fester, Mark, Barry, Lady G are my inspirations. They don’t expect me to be happy and smile-y all the time but they love me at my best and help me at my worst. And for that, I am truly grateful.
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